Halloween was to be the first holiday that Aidan was to celebrate without his wife. It had been nearly three months since Harper had passed and the wounds were still fresh, though he had to save his breakdowns for after Abby went to bed each night. He was navigating the life of single parenthood with difficulty and not a day went by that he didn’t briefly wonder whether he was permanently damaging his six-year-old daughter or not in his grief.

His mother had spent two and a half months with them after Harper died, but on an early October morning, she told him it was time for him to try to go it alone. She thought that maybe it was a matter of ripping off the band-aid and that he’d be fine, but she could no longer be his bandage. He and Abby knew she was always just a phone call away, though that thought wasn’t as comforting as his mother had hoped it would be.

Aidan let the weeks slip by in his pursuit of normalcy, and Halloween was upon them. Abby had started warning him that the stores were going to run out of costumes, and more importantly, the patches would run out of pumpkins about a week and a half before All Hallows’ Eve.

One Wednesday night, Aidan served Abby spaghetti and meatballs in her favorite Beauty and the Beast bowl and sat down at his plate. Abby pushed the hair out of her eyes and sighed loudly.

“What, Abby, what’s wrong? I made it the way Mommy always did.”

“Daddy! Do you know when day it is?”

“Honey, it’s ‘do you know WHAT day it is,’ not ‘when’ and it is October 16^th I believe, why?”

She started wiggling around in her chair the way she always did when she was nervous and said, “It’s just that…Halloween is so soon and I want to go trick-or-treating and carve jack-o-lanterns and have fun like we always did with…with Mommy.”

That “with Mommy” was like a spear through his heart and she could read it in his eyes. Still, he mustered a smile and said, “You know what, sweets? You’re absolutely right. Mommy would never let us get away with no Halloween! What do you think about fishing the decorations out of the attic after dinner?”

She perked up at that, nodding her head so vigorously that the hair went back into her eyes and said, “And…and…and the costumes? I want to be a unicorn this year because they are so pretty and very magical!”

“Yes, baby, we can get a costume tomorrow or maybe grandma can make you the perfect one. Let’s call her later.”

“Do you want to hear about the magic, though, Daddy?”

“Only if you eat that spaghetti.”

“Well I was just gonna say that the magic is to make everyone feel happy and whole again and maybe if I’m a unicorn, I can make you happy forever, Daddy.”

Aidan felt the tears behind his eyes and said, “You already make me happy forever.”

“Daddy? One more thing,” said Abby, “We abso-tutely have to get pumpkins. No assemptions!”

“Yup, no exceptions, Abby, definitely.”

Aidan and Abby finished their meal and decorated. With each witch, broomstick, and skeleton that went up, some small sense of normalcy was slowly returning, and that empty hole in his heart didn’t hurt so much. After Abby went to bed, he called his mother to ask her if she’d make a unicorn costume.

“Oh, Aidan, this is wonderful! Of course I will! Tell you what: I’ll pick Abby up after school tomorrow and we’ll get started.”

“Thanks, ma. Just please make it special because…” he tried to go on, but the sadness that threatened to overcome him all night had finally succeeded.

His mother sensed it and said, “…because of the magic? I know, she told me too, honey. We were waiting for the right time and this is the right time to start moving forward. We will all hold Harper in our hearts forever, but we owe it to Abby to find happiness.”

He got control over himself and said, “Okay. Thanks, ma. I know. Abby. All for Abby, that’s what Harper said at the end. I’m okay, ma. I’m okay.”

“I know you are, Aidan, I know. I’ll pick her up and bring her home around dinnertime. I’ll bring a casserole and we can watch It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown! How does that sound?”

“It sounds like a dream. See you tomorrow. I love you.”

“I love you too, sweets.”

They hung up and Aidan went to bed feeling like that hole in his heart was just the tiniest bit smaller.

The next day went as planned. Abby spent the afternoon with her grandmother and they had made a spectacular green, purple, and white iridescent unicorn costume. They went home and ate tuna casserole and watched Linus defend the Great Pumpkin’s existence. Abby’s belief in the Great Pumpkin grew and grew and as Aidan tucked her in, she dreamed of visiting the pumpkin patch herself.

And visit the pumpkin patch they did. That Saturday, Aidan and Abby drove to what had been Harper’s favorite place. It had hayrides, hot apple cider (spiked and virgin), freshly made powdered apple cider doughnuts, and, of course, pumpkins.

Abby was wearing her overalls and a plaid flannel shirt because she said she needed to fit in with the locals, which was reminiscent of something Harper had said the previous year about galoshes.

As they waited in line for the tractor-pulled hayride, standing hand in hand, Aidan again felt that hole in his heart growing smaller. He helped Abby onto the trailer and climbed in himself. They played their old game, exaggerating the bumps, throwing themselves as high as the kid working the tractor would allow, laughing harder each time they came down. By the time they reached the vast field that served as the pumpkin patch, Aidan and Abby were filled with a lightness they hadn’t felt perhaps in a year.

Abby jumped out of the tractor and ran between the rows of pumpkins. Aidan briefly watched her silhouette against the late afternoon sun, dancing amid row upon row of perfectly round pumpkins, feeling Harper by his side.

“Thank you. Great Pumpkin,” he said under his breath as he ran after his daughter.