Longines Y. | Milford, PA **13 Friends **57 reviews **Share review | **Compliment **Send message | **Follow Longines Y.

The Bird’s Nest | 4/13/2014

Yeah, Longines Yardley here. I’m not one to login to Yelp and write reviews, but my experience at The Bird’s Nest was completely unwanted and thoroughly traumatic. DO NOT visit this establishment. You know what? Don’t even go to the VICINITY. It’s a shame because I always loved the shaded blades of grass by the thicket of birch trees. It was a favorite place of mine to visit on hot summer days and just kick back and relax. I used to daydream about bringing my kids to this place, but then the birds moved in and, well, there goes the neighborhood. One particularly terrible bird, I think her name was Robin, yes, that rings a bell, Robin, actually PICKED ME UP IN HER BEAK AND BROUGHT ME TO THE NEST AGAINST MY WILL. I believe they intended to EAT me. That is until her husband, Jay, said that inchworms gave him gas. GAS! THE NERVE! And to make matters worse, they just THREW ME OUT. They didn’t even have the decency to fly me back to the ground. Needless to say, I narrowly escaped with my life. DO. NOT. RECOMMEND.

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Longines Y. | Milford, PA **20 Friends | **63 reviews **Share review | **Compliment **Send message | **Follow Longines Y.

The Tackle Box | 5/23/2014

Yeah, Longines Yardley here. I’ve got something to say and I’m not too sure if I can put my experience into words. I’ve got really mixed feelings about The Tackle Box. For one, it’s a truly great place to socialize and network. Never before have I been in such close quarters with so many wonderful and different worms! Now, the majority of visitors to The Tackle Box are Earth Worms, and I can’t quite figure out why. I don’t know and I don’t care. All I know is that I met my beautiful wife, Sandy, at The Tackle Box. She is a big and boisterous Earth Worm. Now, I don’t want to hear anything about our interracial marriage. It’s 2014, God Damn It! An inchworm and Earth Worm should be able to live in peace! /rant.

Back to the review. I’m really perplexed by the motives of the owners. I totally get that a riverside location is essential, and don’t get me started on when they take the party to a BOAT! It all feels very glamorous. But one thing should be noted: those worms who hang on the upper levels seem to go missing. IDK…it seems dangerous and mysterious to me. Tackle Box owners: what are you doing with those worms? It’s scary.

Another kind of weird thing about this place is its closing procedure. Normal places usually make announcements, but not The Tackle Box. The owners usually dump us out on our backs, often piled atop one another in the baking hot sun! We lay there, writing, at the mercy of the birds in the trees. It’s a sticky situation to say the least. It really feels like they just don’t care about their patrons. I hope that’s not the case. I would overall recommend this place, but be advised: stay cautious and be aware of your surroundings.

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Longines Y. | Milford, PA **45 Friends | **100 reviews **Share review | **Compliment **Send message | **Follow Longines Y.

The Flower Pot | 6/30/2014

Yeah, Longines Yardley here. What a find! My wife, Sandy, read about you guys in her Home and Garden mag. Now, I’m not the kind of guy who regularly visits places just because they got a good write up in some publication, but I made an exception this time. And boy am I glad that I did! I was pleasantly surprised by my experience. First of all, primo location, guys! Truly. The rounded coral building stands in such beautiful contrast against the lush green grass and the dahlias growing out of your roof! Man, what a doozy. Really took my breath away. You guys gotta give me the number of your landscaper. He could come work for me! I need the help. Maybe I could put you out of business! I kid, I kid.

Okay, secondly, the view: from our rooftop table, we were shaded quite comfortably by the aforementioned dahlias. What a sweet scent they gave to the air! It really made our dining experience special. Oh yeah, the view! Who wouldn’t love fine dining with a view of the scenic rolling hills of the county’s best golf course? It was perfect. If we weren’t already married, we’d def do the ceremony and reception here.

Last but not least: the food! Oh man, molto bene! The texture that the pig fertilizer gave to the loamy soil (my meal) was simply everything I could’ve wanted in a dish. My wife had the Caesar salad and she said it was a real knockout.

Now, you’re probably wondering why I’m only giving four stars for such a stellar review. I’ll tell you why. First: five stars means perfection and that just doesn’t jibe with me. Secondly, we were seated near the human children and they were loud, disruptive, and borderline dangerous. I could swear that they ate the worm at the table next to us, but Sandy says she didn’t see/hear anything. I think maybe you should complain/do something about your infestation of children.

Overall, though, love the place. Def will be back often.

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Longines Y. | Milford, PA **77 Friends | **113 reviews **Share review | **Compliment **Send message | **Follow Longines Y.

The Right Hand Man | 7/4/2014

Yeah, Longines Yardley here. I’m just home from hands down the BEST Fourth of July celebration I’ve ever had. There was dirt, there were drippings of ice pops on the grass, providing some much needed sweetness to our feast. There were fireworks. And then, of course, there was the ride. Sandy and I were resting our full bellies in the cool mud bath down by the riverbank. Side note: do you guys KNOW how good mud is for your skin and sanity? Seriously, check it out ASAP.

But first finish reading my review. So we were chilling and suddenly we heard a twig break behind us. Sandy was kind of scared it was one of those monster kids who eat our kind, but I played it cool. Boy am I glad I did! It was just these two hippie dudes who escaped the party to smoke some weeds down by the river.

So they sat next to us in the mud and lit up. The smell reminded me of our time at The Tackle Box—it was the same stuff the owners blew in the air while out on the boat—and I started feeling all romantic and nostalgic. Sandy fell asleep, though, and that was fine because next thing I knew, one dude was putting this green leaf under me. He picked me up and held me in his hand and I have never been so high! He looked me in the eye and told me about the universe. It was a truly existential/out of body experience. I have never been in that place before, but man, I’d love to go back. I mean, you haven’t really lived until you’ve been to The Right Hand Man. That is my God honest opinion. 100% recommend.

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