From: Isla
To: Stacey; Ashley; Christie
Subject: Drinkzzzz
Hey ladies! As you all know, my dirty thirty is coming up. What say you to happy hour on Friday? Just you, me, bevs, and apps. Yummo!
Luv,
Isla
She sat back and clenched her hands, rereading the email. She wanted to keep it light and sweet. She had already typed and retyped it three times, fearing that she was going to come off as desperate.
Isla’s old heartbreak came rushing back at her and suddenly, she found it hard to breathe. She closed her eyes. She inhaled deeply through her nose, letting the air fill her throat, flow into her chest, and fall into her belly. She held it for a second. Then, she opened her mouth and exhaled, contracting her belly, collapsing her chest, and constraining her throat. She did this three more times, then she rubbed her palms together and pressed the heels of her hands against her closed eyes. She whispered, “I am enough. I am enough. I am enough” to herself. She opened her eyes and felt calmer. She silently thanked her yoga teacher from Away for teaching her that trick.
She hit send.
Isla never used to be like this. She used to be sassy, confident, and even strong, but that was before she went Away. She knew now that going Away was one of the worst mistakes of her life, but she had been naïve, hard-headed, and in some semblance of love.
New mail.
From: Stacey
To: Isla; Ashley; Christie
Re: Drinkzzzz
Hey girl! Happy hour sounds fab. Count me in. Wear something sparkly.
-S
Stacey was a new friend. They met about a week after she came back from Away. Isla was seated in the empty cubicle next to Stacey at her new job in an accounting firm and they had become fast friends. Stacey helped ease Isla back into the demanding pace of the city. They had lunch every day and those lunches graduated to happy hours, dinner dates, and weekend morning yoga classes. When Isla finally summoned the courage to tell Stacey about Away, she gave her shaking hands a squeeze and told her that everything will be as it should. Even though Stacey was from After, she felt an invisible brick fall off her chest, making that ever-present crushing feeling just a little more bearable.
New mail.
From: Christie
To: Isla; Stacey; Ashley
RE: Drinkzzzz
Sis,
I thought you’d never ask. See you Friday. Consider Stacey’s request for sparkles seconded.
Love ya
Christie. Her older sister by a mere eleven months. The two of them had been thick as thieves their whole lives. Isla even had to get a white noise machine so she could sleep after Christie went off to college because the silence that filled their shared bedroom without her heavy breathing threatened to poke a hole through her heart each and every night. When she graduated from high school, she enrolled in the very same university as her sister, roomed together again, and cemented their solidarity. They continued living together after college in a small yet cozy apartment in Brooklyn Heights. But that was Before she went Away. When she told Christie her plans for Away, Christie accused her of acting irrationally. Isla accused Christie of being petty and jealous and that’s when the fissure formed. It deepened and deepened by the day, and by the time Isla left for Away, they were barely speaking. She hardly had the courage to contact her since she returned for fear that her own sister hated her. But with this reply, another brick fell off her chest and she could breathe easier.
New mail.
From: Ashley
To: Isla; Christie; Stacey
RE: Drinkzzzz
Isla,
I love you very much, and I’m so happy you’ve finally reached out, but I’m not sure I’m ready to see you just yet. I hope this doesn’t hurt you. I just need some time. I’ll be in touch.
X
That Ashley even responded was more than she could have asked for. Ashley was Isla’s business partner and best friend. They had a successful soap making business Before she went Away. They had used all natural ingredients and light yet lasting scents that worked in conjunction with the body’s chemistry ton continuously release its scent throughout the day. Not to mention its beautiful packaging. The very day that they landed a meeting with an upscale boutique to start selling their products on a larger scale, Isla pulled the rug out from under Ashley and told her she was going Away. It did not end well. She never expected Ashley to speak to her again, but she answered the email, so off came another brick and she felt almost as light as Before she went Away. Almost.
When Friday came along, she was a bundle of nerves. She packed her favorite sparkly little black dress in her work bag and anxiously made it through the day, tapping her feet and biting her lower lip. She gradually became excited because Stacey was excited. For one brief moment while they were applying lipstick in the bathroom at work, she felt like she could go back to the Isla of Before. She hoped it was true.
She and Stacey sat in a light pink seashell booth waiting for Christie to arrive. Her nervous energy rubbed off on Stacey and by the time Christie showed up, their stomachs were tied up in knots of anticipation.
Isla stood up when she saw her sister walk in. They hugged. First it was stiff and awkward, and then they melted into each other, absorbing each other’s warmth, smelling each other’s familiarity, and breathing a sigh of relief. Isla felt like she was home in Christie’s arms and was almost devastated when she had to let go.
The three women sat in the booth silently. The weight of Away was threatening to push down and break their fragile new bonds. The silence was painful. No one knew what to say or do, but all wanted to speak.
Finally, Stacey said, “Time for booze.”
Marie Hendry 