February 2, 2019, 11:13 am:
Tri-State Mommies:
Thank you for your interest in joining Tri-State Mommies! We want to be sure that all members of the group are not only mommies but pillars of the community, so we have a few questions before we move forward:
- Are you a mommy? Y/N
- Do you believe in the power of community? Y/N
- When women support other women, it raises all our spirits. T/F
- What is your zip code? (Enter here)
February 5, 2019, 9:56 am:
Tri-State Mommies:
Thank you for your patience, mama, and welcome to the community! Here at Tri-State Mommies, you’ll find a wealth of resources right at your fingertips for all things mama-bear: childcare, weekend activities, city/county/state events, a directory of vetted local providers, date night suggestions (wink, wink), and more!
Just some housekeeping before we begin:
- There is absolutely zero tolerance for hate-speech and bullying. Complaining about your husband doesn’t count, of course! This is a safe space.
- Sorry, but no boys allowed. To quote the wise words of Darla from The Little Rascals “Girls rule and boys drool”
- There should be no promotion of illegal activities or self-harm. This is not the black market! This is the mama market!
- If you’re not from around here, then GTFO. Seriously, go join your local mama group.
- And last but not least: be kind! Mamas may be superheroes, but even superheroes can have bad days, so just keep in mind that everyone is doing their best and this is a place for encouragement and support.
Tri-State Mommies
🔒 Private Group | 34k members | Established 2015
Hi and welcome to Tri-State Mommies! If you’re here, that means you carry the very prestigious title of Mama. We are a tightly-knit group of mama bears with the sole interest of keeping our beautiful community safe for our kiddos, because let’s be real: if we don’t do it, who will? THE MEN? Take a look around and join the conversation! We are so happy to have you here.
February 12, 2019, 12:49 pm:
Lola Fischetti (New Member):
Hi mamas and thank you for adding me, admins! I’m Lola, a FTM (first time mom — is that the lingo?) due in September. I’m feeling a little out of my depth when it comes to baby needs. Can some experienced mamas send me recs for items you actually used so I can add them to my baby shower registry? Many thanks!
34 ❤️ | 56 comments | 2 shares
May 30, 2019, 1:56 am:
Lola Fischetti (New Member):
Hi mamas! I thought pregnancy was supposed to make you TIRED but it’s giving me INSOMNIA! Anyone else up and wanna chat? My sisters are planning my baby shower, but they need some help venue-wise. Where did you have yours? Any pro tips for this expecting mama?
43 ❤️ | 68 comments | 1 share
August 19, 2019, 3:13 pm:
Lola Fischetti (New Member):
Hi mamas! FTM here in the home stretch. Babygirl will be here in just a few weeks and my doctor says I should be going for walks every day, but I’m so fat and tired. Any tips?
49 ❤️ | 33 comments
October 20, 2019, 5:13 am:
Lola Fischetti:
🚨 🚨 🚨 Alert, Alert 🚨 🚨 🚨 I totally blanked that Halloween is less than two weeks away. Having a newborn is no joke! You did try to warn me, but you just never know until you’re in it. I’m having the darndest time trying to find a costume for my babygirl. Does anyone have a cute first Halloween costume I can borrow?
52 ❤️ | 29 comments
November 25, 2019, 8:23 am:
Lola Fischetti:
🍗 Anyone want to share easy, last minute, delicious recipes for Thanksgiving side dishes? I told my mom we’d contribute to the potluck MONTHS AGO and grossly underestimated mom brain! Help! Double points for gluten-free options 😅
60 ❤️ | 44 comments | 4 shares
December 13, 2019, 7:55 pm:
Lola Fischetti:
Okay you’re going to think I’m bonkers because my LO (little one, is that the right lingo??) is super tiny, but looking for recos for a believable Santa within a 2 hour driving distance. I’m willing to travel for Santa! It’s obviously her first time meeting the big guy, so I want him to be as realistic as possible, thanks! 🎅🏻
51 ❤️ | 72 comments | 2 shares
December 30, 2019, 4:56 pm:
Lola Fischetti (Rising Star):
🎉🍾 Last minute as always, LOL! But what do you guys do on NYE with babies? I’m wanna do something nice for hubby to ring in the new year, even if that means it looks a little different than years past
65 ❤️ | 58 comments | 5 shares
January 9, 2020, 3:15 am:
Lola Fischetti (Rising Star):
Happy New Year, mamas! But not for me because ummmmmmmmmmm why did no one warn me about the 4 month sleep regression?! Hubby convinced me to transition babygirl from bassinet in our room to the crib in her room at THE WORST TIME POSSIBLE!! Because the sleep regression is hitting us hard. I think I’m getting like…2 hours of sleep at the most. SEND HELP!!!
70 ❤️ | 59 comments
February 12, 2020, 2:45 pm:
Lola Fischetti (Rising Star):
Happy Anniversary, mamas! Well, for me at least. It’s been a full year since I joined the group and your support has meant the world to me in my motherhood journey. Thanks a lot! 🥳 Now onto business: my LO is about 5 months old and I’m looking for a safe, reliable daycare in the area. Where did you send your babes? Any places to avoid?
72 ❤️ | 63 comments | 3 shares
February 23, 2020, 7:56 am:
Lola Fischetti (Rising Star):
HOLY CROW, this cough is something else! I can handle a little virus, but it’s so sad seeing my LO with a fever. Doctor says to just watch and give Tylenol, but is there anything else I can do for her????
79 ❤️ | 80 comments
March 15, 2020, 10:21 am:
Lola Fischetti (Rising Star):
OH MY GOSH!! LOCKDOWN?! For the flu?! Are you kidding me?? My LO, hubby and I had it in February and we’re FINE! I was supposed to go back to work next week and while I’m happy to have more time at home with my babygirl, I’m concerned about having to juggle my full time job and my full time baby. Do any of you wise mamas have tips for Doing It All™️?
75 ❤️ | 87 comments | 7 shares
March 28, 2020, 4:45 pm:
Lola Fischetti (Rising Star):
My LO is just over six months! Wowie!!! She is sitting up and can hold her head up herself, what a big, strong girl! The internet says it’s time to START SOLIDS!! How crazy! Any tips? Good first foods? Or should I wait? This feeding stuff is scary!
79 ❤️ | 104 comments
April 10, 2020, 8:47 pm:
Lola Fischetti (Rising Star):
🐰 Hippity hoppity, mamas! Totally sucks that babygirl’s first Easter will be spent with just me and hubby, but I’m looking for ways to make it special. Any ideas?? Bonus points for age appropriate Easter basket recos! 🐣
81 ❤️ | 92 comments | 1 share
April 15, 2020, 11:23 am:
Lola Fischetti (Rising Star):
🚨🚨🚨 Alert! Alert! 🚨🚨🚨 Next week is my first wedding anniversary since becoming a mama bear! Hubby has been a dream—he is so attentive and caring, though he could help more at night AMIRITE, LADIES?! Anywho, I know lockdown is throwing a wrench in things this year. I hate that we can’t go outside! How have you been celebrating life’s special moments during this trying time?
78 ❤️ | 100 comments | 3 shares
May 4, 2020, 10:56 pm:
Lola Fischetti (Rising Star):
Hola, mamacitas! Tomorrow is Cinco de Mayo, my personal fav (at least before I had babygirl!) Just wanted to share my super special marg recipe for all you fabuloso mamas. I’m including specific brands because I feel, after much R&D (LOL!) this specific combo has produced a muy deliciouso margarita! Ole!
Lola’s Margs:
⭐️ 2 oz Espolòn Blanco Tequila
⭐️ 1 oz Combier L’Original Liqueur D’Orange
⭐️ 1 oz FRESHLY SQUEEZED lime juice (get those juicers out, mamas!)
⭐️ 1/2 oz Republic of Tea Agave Nectar
⭐️ Demitri’s Margarita Rim Shot Rimming Salt
✨ Run a lime wedge around your glass of choice (I personally love my Williams Sonoma glasses that look like CACTI, SO CUTE!!) and then salt the rim with our pal Demitri’s super yummo salt concoction
✨ Fill a cocktail shaker with ice and then add the booze, lime juice and agave
✨ Shake what your mama gave you! (Arms, but you can shake your booty too)
✨ Strain and serve, mamas!
105 ❤️ | 113 comments | 12 shares
July 17, 2020, 12:18 pm:
Lola Fischetti (Conversation Starter):
Holy heatwave! You know, I don’t often feel thankful for lockdown and being trapped inside during my babygirl’s developmentally important first year, but between the 110 degree heat and 95% humidity and air pollution, I don’t mind so much being inside these days! The only thing is that I’m running out of dinner ideas for me and hubby. My go-tos are getting old! Help! Bonus points if you have oven-free ideas!
114 ❤️ | 152 comments | 14 shares
August 27, 2020, 2:35 pm:
Lola Fischetti (Conversation Starter):
Holy Moly Guacamole! My babygirl is TURNING ONE! Where does the time go?! Looking to plan a small (outdoor, I’m not crazy!) get together with close family in the area to celebrate. Has anyone been able to manage meeting up with their bubbles outside? Of course everyone will be masked, especially around the LO! Maybe a park or would it be safer to meet at my mom’s backyard?
130 ❤️ | 124 comments | 7 shares
September 18, 2020, 1:14 pm:
Lola Fischetti (Conversation Starter):
BIG THANK YOU to all the mamas out there who shared their pro-tips for making my LO’s first birthday special despite the circumstances. Just wanted to pop in here to say we held a small party at my mom’s, in the back garden of course, at your advice. Mom made cake and sisters came with their husbands. My MIL (don’t get me started) did come but she made it a big to-do. You’d think I was planning on coughing covid germs right into her lungs! None of us had left our houses in weeks, so I knew we were all safe as can be. You know, some people are taking this lockdown thing too seriously, IN MY OPINION!!!!
84 ❤️ | 109 comments
October 2, 2020, 8:23 am:
Lola Fischetti (Conversation Starter):
🎃 SOMETHING SPOOKY THIS WAY COMES!!! Starting this thread for all things Halloween. Kiddos grew out of last year’s costume? Offer it up here! We may be locked inside, but that doesn’t mean we can’t dress up! 👻
167 ❤️ | 159 comments | 20 shares
December 15, 2020, 3:05 pm:
Lola Fischetti (Conversation Starter):
HO, HO, HO, MERRY VAXMAS! Anyone else planning on running as fast as they can to get the shot?? What ya gonna get: Pfizer or Moderna? I don’t even care about the side effects—if it means I can go out into the world again, shoot me up!! 💉 💜 🤪 Side note: what’s everyone’s Christmas looking like this year?!?!
175 ❤️ | 200 comments | 18 shares
February 6, 2021, 6:15 pm:
Lola Fischetti (Group Ambassador):
I wanted to post this Anonymously, but I just can’t seem to get the dang thing to work. At least this is a safe space, right? The past few years have been difficult to say the least for all of us. I know I’m not that special, but I must admit motherhood and the pandemic has rocked me. I love my husband, but spending day in and day out with him, trying to work, and be the best mama I can be, is just draining me. He does what he can, but honestly, I don’t feel like it’s enough. Please tell me I’m not alone in this! How have you managed these complex feelings when it comes to your SO (Significant Other)? I don’t want to head for the big D (man, remember those days when the big D was like a DICK and not DIVORCE?!) but hubs and I need some help and quick!
204 ❤️ | 215 comments
March 1, 2021, 1:27 pm:
Lola Fischetti (Group Ambassador):
Hubs and I have been in couples counseling (virtual) for a couple of weeks now, and I’m not sure if it’s helping. I mean, it’s hard enough to meet with the therapist with the baby, we try to schedule during her nap time, but then he’s all you’re interfering with my work and my work is so important and someone needs to bring in money like I’m not doing my best here. Sometimes I just want to SCREAM because it just seems like I am never enough. I do feel I have not been as honest as I should have been with all of you. It’s not all stars and hearts and puppies in my marriage. He isn’t as helpful as I’ve claimed, and lately I feel like he’s disgusted by me. Or maybe I’m disgusted by him? I certainly don’t want to touch him after a long day of mothering. Can anyone relate?
108 ❤️ | 245 comments
March 24, 2021, 2:14 pm:
Lola Fischetti (Group Ambassador):
Okay I am trying not to come in all hot, but I do not appreciate the vitriol I received on my last post. I genuinely thought that Tri-State Mamas was a safe space for open expression. And I truly cannot believe that one of you (I won’t go so low as to name names, but you know who you are) EMAILED my post to my husband. What a violation of my privacy! And now he’s saying I’ve violated our VOWS, so THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR THAT. You know, we were coming so far in couples counseling. I felt like he heard me and he felt like I heard him, and then YOU had to go and share my venting with him! Why would you try to break up my marriage like that??
225 ❤️ | 300 comments
May 1, 2021, 5:24 pm:
Lola Fischetti (Group Ambassador):
Hola Bonita mamacitas! My FAVORITE holiday is coming up AND we’re allowed to go outside again. Who wants to meet up at Casa Azul on Cinco de Mayo for Mamas, Margs, and Munchies Happy Hour? I’ve rented out the back patio and there will be coloring sheets and blocks for the little ones. Let’s BUILD SOME COMMUNITY and LEAN ON ONE ANOTHER!! Be there or be square: May 5, 2021, Casa Azul – Main Street location, 3pm t0 ??? (Just kidding it ends at 6 we have bedtime to consider)
275 ❤️ | 200 comments | 27 shares
June 17, 2021, 7:23 am:
Lola Fischetti (Top Contributor):
🚨🚨🚨 Alert! Alert! 🚨🚨🚨 Hubby’s birthday is coming up and I want to do something extra special for him this year! It feels like the roughest of our rough spots is behind us and I want to show him just how much he means to me. Does anyone have recos for man gifts that won’t break the bank? He likes typical man stuff like whisky and leather and golf and sports and he also likes dogs and his Jeep. I am at a loss here!
230 ❤️ | 247 comments
June 30, 2021, 11:58 pm:
Lola Fischetti (Top Contributor):
Not to come in here with another gripe, but some people in this community are just so heinous. I was trying to do SOMETHING NICE for SOMEONE I LOVE. Of course I know him and know what he likes. I just needed some help brainstorming is all! I am perfectly capable of choosing a gift for my husband. Just needed a jumpstart. How dare you suggest I don’t love him? Or worse, that I don’t really know him?
215 ❤️ | 268 comments
August 1, 2021, 9:27 am:
Lola Fischetti (Top Contributor):
🎶Vacation all I ever wanted🎶 Hubs and I are taking babygirl on her FIRST VACATION!!! We are going down to Seacrest for a week of sun and sand. I have a travel monitor, pack and play, new toys, and a beach tent for babygirl. Is there anything else I should pick up to make the trip as seamless as possible, oh all-knowing mamas??????
200 ❤️ | 248 comments
August 28, 2021, 4:22 pm:
Lola Fischetti (Top Contributor):
ISO (in search of) kickass birthday venue for babygirl’s big 2! I would love to host the party at a local mom & pop establishment that can comfortably fit 50-75 guests, a DJ, a magician, and incredible appetizers. Bonus points if the cake is included! Party would be in late September (oops, a little late babygirl). Any ideas???????
220 ❤️ | 315 comments
September 1, 2021, 12:45 am:
Lola Fischetti (Top Contributor):
Okay I am torn between the following themes for babygirl’s birthday party: Pretty Pretty Princess and Little Explorers. On the one hand, I like the princess theme for my little princess. She likes pink and sparkles and unicorns and all things girly, but am I reinforcing patriarchal ideas by limiting her to the girliest of themes? Little Explorers is so open to learning. It could be scientists, outdoor enthusiasts, really anything. I do want to instill a love of learning but like, it’s not that sparkly. What kind of party favors would you give out? There are people coming with kiddos of all ages and I just do not know what to give out! Would bigger kids hate bubbles? HELP!!!!
207 ❤️ | 312 comments
September 7, 2021, 2:37 am:
Lola Fischetti (Top Contributor):
Ugh, I hear you on the feminist stuff, but can we please lay these rants to rest? We are talking about a toddler here. I don’t want to be burned at the stake for like hosting a princess party for a little girl. Some princesses are pretty cool. Like Merida! You wouldn’t want to f with her, would you? So consider me like your Merida and stop fucking with me and I won’t make casual observations about the whole BOYS WILL BE BOYS mentality that some of you are spewing on here. I see it and I don’t like it and you know what? I keep my mouth shut. There’s something to that age-old adage of “if you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all” okay????
300 ❤️ | 350 comments | 23 shares
September 14, 2021, 1:14 pm:
Lola Fischetti (Top Contributor):
What kind of cake should I get?
215 ❤️ | 312 comments
September 20, 2021, 8:39 pm:
Lola Fischetti (Top Contributor):
Baby’s in bed, hubs is out to dinner with some friends, and I’m sitting here, alone for the first time in ages. Should I open some wine? Should I order some food? What do I watch on TV? I’m overwhelmed by all this freedom! What would you do with a night off????
320 ❤️ | 375 comments | 12 shares
November 12, 2021, 7:15 am:
Lola Fischetti (Group expert):
My birthday is coming up and recently loved ones—hubby, mom, best friends—have been asking what I want and I…don’t know??? How do you gift wrap a fucking minute????? Anywho, what are products are you loving right now, mamas? Anything to help preserve your youth or sanity? Bonus points if it smells good!!!!
350 ❤️ | 412 comments |29 shares
December 30, 2021, 5:21 am:
Lola Fischetti (Group Expert):
Super early in the morning, apologies to anyone who has notifications set up. I hope the ding doesn’t wake you. I’m just laying here, awake, thinking about my life and what I have to show for it. I honestly don’t know where I’d be without this amazing group of mamas. Seriously, you’ve become my lifeblood. You’ve helped me through some pretty hard times and given me so much support and great ideas. It’s a lifeline I didn’t know I needed. But now I’m wondering…do I lean on you too much? I can’t remember the last time I answered a question on my own, without at least turning to the archives in this group for hints if I wasn’t posting myself. I mean, I don’t think I’m unhappy about it. I’m just wondering, does anyone else have this experience with this group? It can’t just me, right?
456 ❤️ | 479 comments | 75 shares
January 1, 2022, 2:45 am:
Lola Fischetti (Group Expert):
I think I’m lost
500 ❤️ | 550 comments
Marie Hendry 