$650 / 2 br – ***Brand New*** 2 br/1.5ba apt with stainless steel appliances, amenities, cool & cavernous environment, and more! $650 (Fort Greene, BK)
The Morlock Arms is where luxury meets affordability
Community Features:
- Fitness center
- Media room
- 24 hour security (believe us when we say that intruders will be eaten alive by these big, burly guys!)
- Classic video game room
- Artificial sunlight patio
- Unlimited snax in common area refrigerators
- Mood lighting (our dimly lit environment is unique and seductive!)
Unit features:
- 2 bedrooms
- 1.5 baths
- FiOs enabled
- Washer/dryer in unit
- Self-cooling environment
- Built-in humidifiers (we know how that winter air can turn your skin to PRUNES)
- Pet friendly (specifically rodents. Very rodent friendly)
DO YOU WANT TO LIVE IN THE COVETED FORT GREEN NEIGHBORHOOD, BUT FIND THAT THE RENT IS JUST TOO HIGH? THE MORLOCK ARMS IS THE UNIQUE SOLUTION TO ALL YOUR HOUSING NEEDS. WITH CONVENIENT ACCESS TO THE 2, 3, 4, 5 , B, D, N, Q, R, AND LIRR AT THE ATLANTIC TERMINAL, NOT TO MENTION THE UNLIMITED EXCITEMENT THAT THE NEAR-NIGHTLY EVENTS THE BARCLAYS CENTER HAS TO OFFER, OUR UNITS WILL FILL UP QUICKLY. CALL TO SECURE YOUR HOVEL TODAY.
DO NOT REPLY THROUGH CRAIGSLIST, WE WILL BE UNABLE TO CONTACT YOU DUE TO A BUG IN THE SYSTEM. CONTACT WITH PERSONAL EMAILS OR PHONE ONLY.
CONTACT ME VIA PHONE AT (917) 555-3564 OR EMAIL AT INQUIRIES@MORLOCKARMS.COM
- do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers
- Fee Disclosure: NO FEE BUT FRIENDSHIP
From: Cruz, Delilah <weena1898@gmail.com>
Sent: Wednesday, July 13, 2016 8:35 PM
Cc: Hill, Harry <hgh0213@gmail.com>
Subject: 2 Bedroom Apartment – Morlock Arms
Hi,
My boyfriend and I saw your ad on Craigslist for the 2 bedroom, 1.5 bathroom apartment at the Morlock Arms. Is the rent really $650 a month in Fort Greene? How can that be?
Please let me know if I read it right! If I did, I don’t want to let it get away!
Regards,
Delilah
From: Troglodyte, Arnie <inquiries@morlockarms.com>
Sent: Thursday, July 14, 2016 9:15 AM
To: Cruz, Delilah <weena1898@gmail.com>
Cc: Hill, Harry <hgh0213@gmail.com>
Subject: RE: 2 Bedroom Apartment – Morlock Arms
Hello Delilah and Harry!
Pleasure to make your e-quaintance! Yes, you did, indeed, read correctly. The Morlock Arms is offering a 2 bedroom apartment in the much sought-after neighborhood of Fort Greene at just $650 per month! Our eco-friendly building was constructed and operated by a group of on-site handymen, meaning that much of the costs of building have been subsidized by these do-it-themselves-ers, but, that’s not to say that the structural integrity is lacking in any way. In fact, our building conforms to all present-day NYC building requirements.
If you are interested, I am happy to set up a tour for you guys so you can see it yourselves! I am free tomorrow (Friday) afternoon, and all day Saturday and Sunday. Please let me know at your earliest convenience so that we can get the ball rolling on this.
Best wishes,
Arnie Troglodyte
Senior Housing Officer
The Morlock Arms – Fort Greene’s Premier Underground Oasis
T: (917) 555-3564
F: (917) 555-7629
Please consider the environment before printing this email.
From: Cruz, Delilah <weena1898@gmail.com>
Sent: Thursday, July 14, 2016 11:57 AM
To: Troglodyte, Arnie <inquiries@morlockarms.com>
Cc: Hill, Harry <hgh0213@gmail.com>
Subject: RE: RE: 2 Bedroom Apartment – Morlock Arms
Hi Arnie,
Haha, yes! Pleasure to make your e-quaintance as well. Thanks for the info about the Morlock Arms. Harry and I actually are really interested. Based on the Craigslist ad, we’ve come to the understanding that it is pretty centrally located – close to Atlantic Terminal and whatnot – but we can’t find it anywhere on Google Maps? Where exactly is it located?
Regards,
Delilah
From: Troglodyte, Arnie <inquiries@morlockarms.com>
Sent: Thursday, July 14, 2016 1:33 PM
To: Cruz, Delilah <weena1898@gmail.com>
Cc: Hill, Harry <hgh0213@gmail.com>
Subject: RE: RE: RE: 2 Bedroom Apartment – Morlock Arms
Hello Delilah and Harry!
Ah, yes! I see that I have failed to give you the full information on our property. As you may have noticed in my signature, the Morlock Arms is being advertised as Fort Greene’s Premier Underground Oasis. Now, I know it is rather unconventional, but we are actually located underground. Our entry way is actually located close to the LIRR tracks in Atlantic Terminal – the is a small, yet beautifully industrial door that is only accessible by each resident’s key card in order to ensure maximum security, and as you also may have seen, we do offer a 24 hour concierge as well.
Now, I don’t want you getting the idea that the Arms is in anyway dark, dank, and foreboding. It is the opposite, in fact! Our builders have worked quite hard on an elaborate yet easy to navigate system of tunnels that are as comfortable as they are ornate and useful. Our innovative tunnel system connects each resident to their hovels, recreation areas, the fitness center, arcade, theatre, and more! And, let me assure you, both our tunnel system and the building itself have been expertly soundproofed and sealed so you will have no idea that the trains are rather conveniently located right outside your door! We also offer our residents their very own access to subway trains so they won’t have to share the platforms with anyone else.
The lighting throughout the Morlock Arms is both dim and seductive, perfect for a couple in love like you and Harry!
I hope that I have clarified adequately. Please let me know if you would like to set up an appointment.
Best wishes,
Arnie Troglodyte
Senior Housing Officer
The Morlock Arms – Fort Greene’s Premier Underground Oasis
T: (917) 555-3564
F: (917) 555-7629
Please consider the environment before printing this email.
From: Cruz, Delilah <weena1898@gmail.com>
Sent: Thursday, July 14, 2016 4:49 PM
To: Troglodyte, Arnie <inquiries@morlockarms.com>
Cc: Hill, Harry <hgh0213@gmail.com>
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: 2 Bedroom Apartment – Morlock Arms
Hi Arnie,
Oh, gotcha! The Morlock Arms certainly sounds like a unique place to live. Luckily for you, Harry and I are the adventurous type. It seems like it would be a really interesting experience to live there.
That being said, can Harry and I please come see the unit tomorrow (Saturday) at 2pm?
Thanks again for all the info you’ve given us. It’s been so helpful! I am excited to see this underground oasis!
Regards,
Delilah
From: Troglodyte, Arnie <inquiries@morlockarms.com>
Sent: Thursday, July 14, 2016 6:15 PM
To: Cruz, Delilah <weena1898@gmail.com>
Cc: Hill, Harry <hgh0213@gmail.com>
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: 2 Bedroom Apartment – Morlock Arms
Oh, Delilah, you are just too much! I could positively eat you up!
I have penciled you and dear Harry in for tomorrow at 2pm. I am looking forward to meeting you both and I sincerely hope that you choose to live in one of our humble hovels! I have the feeling that you will never want to leave once you arrive.
Tomorrow, please arrive promptly at 2pm at the afore-mentioned ornate door close to the LIRR in the Atlantic Terminal. Either I or one of my rather dim-witted (not saying so to be cruel – just so you know) will grab you at the door and lead you through the tunnels to our main reception area, where snax will be enjoyed upon your arrival.
Best wishes,
Arnie Troglodyte
Senior Housing Officer
The Morlock Arms – Fort Greene’s Premier Underground Oasis
T: (917) 555-3564
F: (917) 555-7629
Please consider the environment before printing this email.
From: Cruz, Delilah <weena1898@gmail.com>
Sent: Thursday, July 14, 2016 8:28 PM
To: Troglodyte, Arnie <inquiries@morlockarms.com>
Cc: Hill, Harry <hgh0213@gmail.com>
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: 2 Bedroom Apartment – Morlock Arms
Hi Arnie!
Sounds good! We will be there right at 2 and be ready for these snax that you promise!
Regards,
Delilah
Marie Hendry 